i'mreallyquietwheni'mdrunk

the lights all around me are glowing and growing

colors that frame the windows

laughter in the blue of the television

hugs and big smiles, small kisses

careful to stay upright

sort of spinny, i'm

sort of tipping

but not really

tin pin sin

drown your troubles in gin

poured in soda, so thin

it wins 

(over you)

remember keep your mouth shut keep

yourmouth

shut

red cheeks soft smiles

i can't hear myself i'm mut

ed unmu

te me by

saying

- stop -

'i think you're good'

- okay

i'm good

i'm good

i'm happy and i'm all good

and if i'm

sad

fuck, what then? 

what if i'm sad again - 

and the alcohol flows

through my blood

in my head

out my dreams through my veins

blue veins on 

empty arms

a lot of lo

ve

and no

ne to keep

letting it seep

out through my skin

gin gin gin

i've found it

sin sin sin

i drowned it

gin gin gin

i'm laughing

sin sin sin

i'm really quiet when i'm drunk.