my body, it stopped, it don't feel like it used to

for reasons unknown

to me or anyone

i can't seem to speak

anymore i get mad

so fast so fast

snap! and YELL

do you HEAR ME

can you HEAR ME

IAMSCREAMINGCAN

YOUHEAR?

no 

one can 

because i say 

but with saying

the meaning is lost

on you, is it lost on you?

you and i we can figure it out

right because that's

what friends do they figure things

out of my head get out of my head

i'm sick of your faces and

traces and comments

i'm going insane

did you hear that 

Mama did you hear that

Dad i am going insane

clinically insane how 

sad i am and sorry

for you little sister

with your crazy older 

screaming and hitting and pushing

I'MSORRY

i'm sorry

i feel out of control

i can't help it

i'm scared

[you want to be scared]

no i don't

[you want to be out]

of my mind no 

i don't i don't!

please i don't!

please get that 

i don't i don't want that

it's too much for me 

no it is it really is

not what i had been planning

when i stopped hurting

now i hurt different

my mind doesn't think

the way it used to

neither does my body

it responds

different things kill

me, i'm done i'm 

lost my mind do you 

hear what i'm

whispering dreams

in my brain while i 

sleep is company

it's my best friend

did you know 

we can't afford a doctor

for the crazy kid

so don't tell Mama

don't tell Dad

don't tell your little sister

either please

don't tell anyone

or i'll make them poor

my family deserves more

than that

which slowly poisons

my brain is wired differently

it didn't used to be like 

this is sad

scary sad

[and sometimes you wish you were dead]

[and sometimes you wish you were loving]

[and a lot of times you are happy]

[and many times you are sad]

[you alternate]

[stop.]

[you want to be mad]

[stop.]

[you want this]

[stop.]

[your fault, you want this]

[stop.]

[want this]

[stop.]

stop.

[i don't want this]

stop.